I’ve been so tired lately, and it’s 100% linked to my new puppy.
She’s cute, and I am so happy to have her but the exhaustion is real.
And I realized that it isn't just the lack of sleep or exercise (though that doesn’t help):
It’s the emotional rollercoaster, that’s most draining.
Highs of joy and pride followed by lows of frustration and worry.
It feels abstract because I'm "just feeling," yet the crash is undeniable.
The same happens in high-stakes corporate meetings. Sitting in a chair isn't tiring, but the emotional toll is.
I dug into the research to understand the mechanics of this "crash," and it turns out emotions are metabolic events. Your brain treats a big feeling like intense physical work.
Here is the "Biological Tax" of your feelings:
The Brain Hijack
Big emotions trigger your Amygdala (the brain's alarm). This steals energy from your "thinking" brain to handle the "fire," leaving you mentally spent. (Harvard Health)
Low Heart Battery
Your heart constantly adjusts its rhythm to keep you calm. This "tuning" (Heart Rate Variability) is high-energy work. When your emotional energy is spent, your "battery" flattens, leaving you feeling heavy. (Segerstrom & Nes)
The "Always Ready" Tax
Staying on high alert (for a puppy accident or a boss’s email) keeps your nervous system revving. This "Allostatic Load" is like idling a car for hours until you run out of gas. (McEwen)
The "Masking" Cost
"Surface Acting" or faking a calm or professional front, burns literal brain fuel (glucose). Maintaining a poker face during a meeting is more draining than actually feeling the emotion. (Hülsheger & Schewe)
The "Pushing It Down" Penalty
Suppressing an emotion spikes your blood pressure and heart rate more than expressing it would. Trying to "be fine" is a high-intensity race. (James Gross)
Bottom Line: You aren't "just" feeling; you are performing. Next time you’re wiped, don’t ask what you did: Ask what you felt.
One thing I’m doing: I’ve started using Affect Labeling. By simply naming the emotion, "I feel overwhelmed," you move activity from the panicked Amygdala back to the rational brain, lowering your heart rate instantly.
Talk soon,
PS. I also have Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked for emergencies. Everyone needs a treat! What’s your go to emotional-exhaustion pick me up?
Reading List / Citations for the curious: